i dun even have a daughta.. immma balla-_-
August 22, 2010, 7:36 pm
Filed under: on air

lets do a little update on life real quick

1.busted my ankle, limpin for 6 weeks 2. swimmings started and i cant swim yet -_-….3. school is soon as heck.. 2011 WHAT THE HELL IS UP?!4. i cleaned my room

so as i was cleaning my room today, i came across my old journals and lists that i make all the time. it was so great to read back on events and emotions that i was feeling two years ago. it was even better reading my own thoughts and knowing exactly how i would have said them outloud. i even traced the development of one big event in my life and how sooo many things when wrong. if it was someone else reading my journal, they would be screaming just like in the movie “no dumb b****, DO NOT DO THAT, WTH IS WRONG WITH YOU”.. but i guess that made me realize that when your IN a situation its way harder to analyze it than if you were out of it..

moving along.. MEMORIES… i came upon thee FUNNIEST things that have happened in my life.. like 10th grade Chemistry class with my brother for ever DJ, or the College Tour that I went on with the most amazing people I have ever met …

“If I were a spider, I would climb these walls, GRETA HOLD MA FEET”

looking back on both good and bad memories showed me that I have grown so much in the past few years and that I’ve had moments i should never forget about, even the ones that make me upset or bring upon bad feelings, in the end its all for the purpose of growing wise..

so take a few seconds out of your day and write something down.. anything

whether it be… the weather.. or what your mom said or who pissed you off, just write it down.. itll make looking back even more memorable, meaningful, and HIGHLARIOUS

im out



this… right here.. is my.. STFU
August 12, 2010, 8:21 pm
Filed under: on air

ha, Kasha was right on the semi-dead blog because i almost forgot the password for this account


alright, so i just got back from my homeland Lithuania last night and I’ve had alottttt of things on my mind

the reason I went out there was because my Grandmother passed away, Rest in Peace Baba.. she had cancer and I know she’s in a way better place right now with no pain and no more worries that she didn’t deserve

i don’t feel like recapping on everything because there is WAYY to much to tell(about the summer in general) so i think i’ll do it through pictures when i get the time to upload them but there’s a few things that have been on my mind lately and i feel like i need to get it alll out.

1.do unto others as you would like to be done unto you.. OK OLD RULE but people seem to forget that we’re all humans and we function the same way at the end of the line

we think

we cry

we laugh

we hurt

we love

eat, poop, sleep.. etc.

now let’s not forget people have a past, a history that has made them who they are, and reasons for why they act the way they do.. these reasons might inlcude insecurities they hold, images they are trying to uphold, and the stage that theyre at currently in their lives.. the actions that you see a person do or the words you hear them speak have more than just that present-moment significance.. they hold a history of alll the years they’ve been alive and all the things they have been through. before you judge someone for what they say or how they say it, understand WHY they’re doing it

now i know that’s hard for people you might NOT know.. but at least do it for those you DO know or are around enought to care about.. people remember, we are all HUMAN no matter how hard we try to differentiate ourselves from each other

2.take a day out of your life and pay attention to the little things you do.. the way you respond to questions, the way you act in front of new people, just in general the person you are.. OBSERVE yourself and then try to understand what makes you the person you are, and be completely honest.. if your insecure about yourself in someway and that comes out in an action, pinpoint it, understand it, and do with it as you please.. at the end of the day you do what you want to do

3. that brings me to my last little rant topic.. sometimes we forget that we have all the opportunity we want to change the situations we are in.. i am a strong believer that anything is possible.. anything, especially if you WANT to make it happen, excuses are the only thing that hold you back.. and i know that from 1st hand experience.. sometimes we are afraid of how powerful we really can be

now that was a hefty post, but it was just a few thoughts that were lingering in the noggin

anyway, they’ll be more things coming realllllllllllllllllllly soon


August 11, 2010, 8:03 pm
Filed under: on air

Go to jirobot.wordpress.com if you want a sticker.


“Don’t pretend to be older than you are, give yourself time to grow”
August 11, 2010, 7:46 pm
Filed under: on air


okay I’m going in(thats what she said)

WE havent updated this blog in forever. It’s almost dead, but im resurrecting it now.

So much to go over first off, MY BIRTHDAY. aug1 turned 17. I feel good. I feel older. I feel right. It was a good time, just wished my sister was here. Greta is in Lithuania chillin, farmin, doin the damn lithi thang.

Igght here I go im about to rant, so buckle up

I’m starting to be independent and not having to need anybody. I used to base my life around my social life, friends. Turns out I forced. I have 4 friends tops, they are good people, that I have experienced things with on a different level. Everyone else is just an acquaintance to me. Another thing FAMILY. Family is so so so important. You’ll have those people forever, friend come and go.Family loves you through thick or thin. I realised the importance of family when I went to Virginia this summer with my cousin, who I had no relationship with before the trip, and my brother. That week was life changing. Made me see that family is the creme of the crop, and its beneficial to always work on the relationships within your family. Now I can actually say I have a relationship with my cousin, I can actually genuinely say that I love him. Also I’m trying to respect my parents more, sometimes I get caught up in my teenage moments and lash out, but I’m trying.


Another thing, COLLEGE. PRIORITIES. I’m doing pretty well with getting everything in order and pacing myself. I realised getting those important things done is worth much more than a night out “partying” with people who don’t mean much to you. I so rather spend a night in watching a movie with someone I love, then at a party worrying about gun, knives, and fist. When did talking get so “outplayed” Cant fight with words anymore? Intelligence has gone out the window for some.


rekindling my childhood friendships is a fun time. I’ve been getting close to my bes friends I had in junior high and its pretty damn easy and fun(That’s what she said). When you’ve been used to someone so long, a year apart really doesn’t damage anything(thats what she said).


So I went on chatroulette. SMDH(shake my damn head) when you get past all the offensive material, it’s a good time. I met mad people my age. some cool and some not so much -_-. But I did meet a new friend. Facebooked him. Pretty cool. If your reading this then WADDDDAAAAAP.

Les get it

All the stuff I tripped over in junior year was a flux. Realised none of that was worth it. I should have just chilled.

AND IM OUT, (thats what she said)


Till it’s over
April 5, 2010, 12:11 pm
Filed under: on air

So I’m sitting in Peer Mediation listening to Drake(hint the title of this blog)

So I was thinking….

Its way easier to say something than to actually do it. I find myself always saying I’m going to commit to something and it just doesn’t happen. Instead I do the exact opposite. It’s like I’m in the ring and I’m fighting myself. BUT LOOSING EACH TIME.

So I figured I just need to control my decisions and really really really focus on them.

Kudos to Greta and her last post..INSPIRATIONAL

Our new quest is being satisfied.

Is it good or bad? Is it always good to strive for something? What if you reached all your goals and your satisfied? Should you settle for that or take a leap and try something at a different calibre.

Greta and I came  to the conclusion that don’t settle for satisfactory. It’s good to feel uneasy. Although as people we always strive to be …whole.



“those who don’t risk, don’t drink champagne”-Arunas Zukauskas
March 30, 2010, 9:11 pm
Filed under: on air

my future was decided by a lottery

my entire life that was yet to be shaped, formed, molded was all done by complete chance

lets bring it back to 1992, i was yet to be birthed or maybe even yet to be conceived, but no matter, it was still 1992.. picture Lithuania in its first year of freedom from decades of rule by the Soviet Union.. an old, yet new country getting back on its feet and meddling with the relations of the rest of the world, free, and just like its people, ready to breathe the air that the rest of the world had already known, but which was new to my family and my people alike

my father was reading the local paper and spotted a tiny advertisement in the corner of one of the pages.. it read something like “Win an opporunity to get a chance to become a citizen of the United States of America”. Just one year after being re-admitted to the rest of the world as a country who was ready to take care of itself, everyone in Lithuania was ready to see what the world, and especially what America had to offer. Everyone had heard of the stories, of the opportunities, of that new life. So my dad cut that little piece of paper that weighed more than anything else he had ever held and placed it in his wallet, and soon the thought of a new life was replaced by daily routines and taking care of his family.

from selling candy on his car at flea markets, to buying freezers from Russia and creating a booming ice cream store in his town, to owning his own store, all the way to managing a tv station, my father made his mark as a smart businessman and someone who was never afraid to take risks, life went on and he was happy.

“55,000 people from around the world will  be eligible to live, work, and apply for American citizenship this year. Look in your local newspaper for more information.”

that was the commercial he heard on tv, andnit was the second time this message had reached my father, it was his turn to take a chance

to the library he went in search of that newspaper with all the information that he needed.. he copied all of it down, discussed this lottery with my mother, and they both decided to send in their applications.. if my father wasn’t chosen, then maybe, just maybe, my mother would be..

six months.. six months was the waiting period to hear back from America. and if you didn’t hear back in six months, well then your ass was staying put right where it was bred, born, and raised

and the six months came, and so did the biggest envelope my father ever saw in his life, in a language he just didnt understand, english

he paid and persuaded his former english teacher with chocolates, money, and cognac to translate this life-changing document into our native Lithuanian, and so she did, and so moves were made to the embassy at the capital for fingerprints and to Warsaw, Poland for our visa confirmations

1998, march 4th.. my fifth birthday.. the day that was to determine whether we stayed or left

while my parents left me in the car because they didnt want to disturb me from my cute, newly 5-year old nap time, they went to the immigration facility and were questioned, interrogatted, interviewed, and picked apart by officials who were to determine my family’s fate.. all around people were being denied of visas to come to the New World. People falling to their knees begging for “their last chance to get out, last chance to make something of themselves”, crying for a change in the decision… but no budging, they were stuck.

nervous, anxious, sweating.. money had already been paid for the visas we didnt even  physically have yet..  our lives were in the hands of people who didnt even know us and didnt even really care, they were just doing their jobs and waiting to get paid

but it paid off, the “congratulations, you have six months to find your way to America” speech was all worth it

and the life my family and i were about to begin was all due to a simple choice, and a simple pick

a lottery that has shaped the life i live today and the words i type on this page as we speak

it ceases to amaze me how one decision and one risk can change entire lives, memories, and experiences

i could go on about the talk i had with my dad tonight, about how happy i am that im getting close to my family, about how the people i live with are living encyclopedias filled with life experience like no other, about how the choices they made and still make have formed the words i speak, the thoughts i think, and the dreams i have yet to find, but theres no doubt that this topic is far over from being discusssed

this is just the beginning

to the future from the past


March 7, 2010, 9:53 pm
Filed under: on air

17th birthday was thursday, march 4th 2010

all i can say is that i hada WONDERFUL and MEMORBALE time and that epic proportions were reached

ayyyyeee~~~~~~~~… hehehehehehehhehe